Write On Wednesday – Excuse me…What Happened To My Log Cabin?

“If I waited for perfection, I would never write a word.” ~ Margaret Atwood

I been had, Fam. Hoodwinked. Bamboozled. 

When I downloaded the PDF brochure selling me the dream life of an author, I swear I envisioned me rocking a white knit wool sweater, sipping hot cocoa (with marshmallows) and penning my Pulitzer prize-winning, New York Times bestselling novel by a fireplace in my log cabin in Maine.

Instead, I dwell in  a small one bedroom apartment with my dear, sweet husband in Hollywood…Scratch that…Los Angeles…Why am I tripping?… Koreatown. 

Between our neighbors blaring Mariachi music and the mysterious rent-increasing fees that keep creeping up, it’s not exactly the picturesque setting of my dreams, O.K.?

In fact, just this Monday, I was complaining to a friend about this travesty.

“WHY CAN’T I JUST WRITE AND GET PAID FOR A LIVING? WHY DO I HAVE TO HUSTLE? I MEAN, SERIOUSLY, DON’T FOLKS KNOW HOW TALENTED I AM?” 

My friend , bless her heart, waited patiently for me to finish my rant. Then, laughed in my face. No one, she said, gets to live the life the brochure promises. Especially not now, thanks to our economy. 

I knew she was right, of course. Still, the stubborn mule that I am, I wanted to argue.

But I couldn’t . 

Because tantrum aside, how I was feeling had nothing to do with my physical location. See, Fam, the only setting that really matters is my head space. And I have to admit ever since I committed to being an author, the foundation for my cerebral real estate has been down right shaky. 

Make sense? Probably not. So, how about I jump in my time machine and let my articulate September 2011 self explain it  — i apologize.

BTW, when you’re redirected to read the post, feel free to rummage around my Address: House of Corrections blog to read behind the words and other posts I wrote that chronicle the journey I took with my first novel.

And be rest assured, Fam. I’m done with my little pity party, so you don’t have to worry. As you read this, I’m feverishly working on the follow-up to A:HCThe Mailman’s Daughter and I am planning to publish it next year. 

Mariachi music will NOT keep me down. LOL! I’m an author damn it! And I will get my log cabin. Trust!

Thank ya, Fam, for your patient ears. I’m done ranting now. How do you push past your expectations?

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4 thoughts on “Write On Wednesday – Excuse me…What Happened To My Log Cabin?”

  1. Tameka (Tamstarz) said:

    Mo, I can so relate to this! Since I live in New York some family and friends think I’m rich, which is so far from my true reality. I too, go through periods where I ask myself what the heck happened. I feel as if I’m living someone else’s life! I was supposed to be a bestselling author by now!

    I won’t even go into what I’m dealing with right now, lol. That alone could make for a new novel! So girl, it’s okay to lament sometimes. But we are blessed with talent and gifts that not everyone has, so perhaps that is our treasure for now and if we keep the faith and keep working, we will have our log cabin after awhile. This I do believe! Blessings girl!

  2. girl, please living in “hollywood” as long as i have, folks have all kinds of misconceptions about my life. shouldn’t i have an oscar and a beach house by now? i laugh it off most times. but every now and again, i have a moment.

    thanx for seconding my emotion. it helps to hear someone relate. i’m good now. really. lol!

  3. Well howdy Koreatown neighbor! We must meet for ‘Hot Cocoa’ soon if only at that local coffee shop for now. 🙂 Sometime we just got to get it off our chest! lol You and I both know IT is done! Keep blessing us with your gifted words!!

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